老爺與我從來不在別人面前避諱女大男小的年齡差距,可是我們卻常常彼此計較誰的個性比較幼稚.他說我像他女兒(註一),我說他像我兒子.說到底就是,"幼稚"的兩個人在比誰比較"幼稚",這樣的行為不"幼稚"嗎?!

(註一:老爺曾經對催我們生小孩的朋友講過一句名言:"我幹麻要生小孩,我老婆就是我的女兒了.")

為了證明我真的覺得他年紀小,比較幼稚.舉證如下:

前提:老爺有個怪毛病,他的上班服跟居家服是沒有季節之分的.換句話說,不管夏天多熱,他還是365天照樣長袖襯衫(襯衫就那幾件,有厚有薄,從不分季節穿)+薄毛料西裝褲上班.不管冬天多冷,他在家就是短袖短褲,明明室內溫度已經下至20'C,那很冷怎麼辦咧?!他喜歡----->裹棉被.

傍晚一下班回來,老爺就直叫今天怎麼突然變冷了.我沒怎麼理會他,直到我收完e-mail走到客廳時.......

各位請看!!!

 

 

我問他,你幹麼?!

他說,我是Cocoon.(以劉爺語法翻譯應該是說---->這是我的繭.而且我覺得他這次的繭造型很像一個坐在炕上的小活佛之類的)

我說,你幹嘛做一個Cocoon?!

他說,我覺得好冷喔.

我說,冷不會穿長褲嗎?!不是已經給你拿出來放在櫃子上了.

他說,不要.長褲會磨到我的腳毛.(哇咧!你那幾根腳毛是在多珍貴,還怕磨???)

我說,你真的是無敵"姑磨"咧!

他說,ㄟ....你去拿相機幫我照相啦!

.................................對啦!老娘還真是又氣又好笑地去拿相機來幫"幼稚"的老爺拍照.

拍完第一張,突然覺得...那好吧!要耍白痴耍幼稚就一起來吧!

 

我是一個無辜的繭.........

 

 

我是一個生氣的繭!!!!

 

 

 

我是一個好色的繭.....嘿嘿嘿......

 

搞笑傻瓜幼稚雙人組,在此下台一鞠躬.謝謝觀賞!

偷懶了好久.下集一直生不出來.

咱們繼續拜吧!

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與愛吃團會合後,第一拜-----伏見稻荷大社

舀水的杓子.老爺很想A一個回家.老娘趕緊在一旁提醒他要遵守國際禮儀.不可亂來.

 

 

文盲也有抽籤的權利.朱大仙在一旁等著幫他解籤詩.朱老娘在一旁已備好錢包準備去付抽籤的香油錢.

籤的結果是"小凶後吉". 我翻譯給老爺的是-->神說你娶到這個老婆剛開始看似倒楣,過了一段日子之後,其實你會覺得自己實在是世界上最幸運的男人了.嘿嘿嘿.....有正中要義吧!看倌們.

 

 

文盲都抽了,我們這些識字的怎麼可以錯過.於是...."京都抽抽樂"活動第三天繼續開打!三個進香客交頭接耳的討論要用什麼姿勢搖籤筒才能搖出一支好籤.pose王指點說,看!用我的招牌S型pose,馬上就來支上上籤了.

 

朱大仙這招更猛.寫繪馬直接點名要什麼.(當然繪馬的價格也是比猜來猜去的籤還貴了一些.人都有頭腦做生意了,更何況神?).一旁的小羊兒不干示弱,只是他想要的太長,需要列單子.咦?單子咧???

 

 

雙吉二人組.大師一出手,馬上就來個大吉!!!!!真的是有拜有保佑.

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下一個! 東山清水寺+地主神社

 

大姐你別再囉唆了啦!好不容易今天假扮日本人,要趕快去拜一拜.看看會不會多被保佑一點.

 

 

pose王說,朱小妹,看到了嗎?姐姐有練過,照相就是要這樣S型.良緣馬上就隨你來!不信,你問問旁邊的長工?!

 

清水的舞台景緻雖美,但能摸上這石頭才是此行的重點.

 

 

這間簡直就是.............萬能的天神啊!!!!

 

 

大吉大吉大吉啊!!!!

我也要大吉大吉大吉.......還有加一項-不要再被唸了啦!!

 

老爺一臉疑問:咦?他們在求好桃花.我要求嗎?

我橫著臉回答: 老娘就是你最大的一支桃花.而且已經開花了.你已經有了.不用求.

不但不求桃花.還要把你的爛桃花寫下來.丟到水裡溶化不見...去!去!去!!!

 

鏘!投下響亮的500圓日幣還願.謝謝祢許我一個老爺.

我說諸位小弟小妹們,你老姐2001年許的願,2005年才實現.所以,別心急,這裡的"個案"太多,神也是要按先後次序的"檔期"去處理才公平啊!

 

只是不小心路過的八坂神社

 

躲個小雨.啊!順便也抽個小籤好了.

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"無處不抽"之旅重頭戲來了..................

 

 

等了四天.善男信女們等的就是這顆長出頭髮的石頭.一絲絲的頭髮可是來自世界各地的"良緣願"咧!

 

朱小妹先鑽為強.

 

 

朱大妹一鑽出來還裝可愛小狗樣.

 

 

朱大仙想在裡面住上一晚加強"吸緣功".好說歹說都不肯出來.

 

小羊兒手長腳長卡在裡面進退不得.這樣的兆頭是.............?

鑽過來再鑽回去的真功夫一定要練!

 

 

臨走前,幸福代表pose王在鳥居前擺個好pose幫你們加持一下!

 

此趟京都之旅,四位善男信女誠心求良緣,我等四位已婚男女在一旁默默微笑祝福.

我相信你們的幸福一定會到來!

阿彌陀佛!阿門!

度假在做啥? 拜拜.

我拜! 我拜拜拜拜拜拜拜拜拜拜拜拜......................................

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京都大大小小的廟宇和神社非常的多.聽說老娘還沒有與愛吃團合體前,他們就已經自行拜成一團去了.下面有圖例為證.

愛吃團們一下公車,嵐山還沒開始遊,天龍寺還沒進去,就從第一間小廟開始拜起.....

 

好大的鈴鐺!用力搖把神叫醒聆聽我的禱告.

 

 

要赴京趕考的讀書人,拜福祿壽作啥?!求健康平安快樂嗎?呵呵呵呵

 

 

這個我需要,希望明天基金跟股票都大漲.....

 

 

我也要基金漲基金漲!!!!!

 

 

我雖貴為大師,偶爾也需要神明加持一下.

 

 

神啊!請加強我的臂力,好讓我應付醫院的"澳客".

 

 

接下來要拜的這位大神很靈.一定要許一個大的,還有,手跟嘴巴都要洗乾淨點表示我們的誠意.

pose王的os:請保佑我青春永駐,pose破表!

大師的os:請保佑我早日脫離長工行列..................

 

 

雖然小間了點,還是要聊表敬意.

 

 

拜完一個段落.下一個行程必定就是要買御守和抽籤.

 

 

哇!從公車站到天龍寺中間的區區十分鐘路程.這群人花了一個多小時不停的拜.真正到了天龍寺,他們說累了,要拜的剛剛都求完了.那那那那那那要不門口照張相留念就好..........orz啊!!!!!

 

 

嵐山那區算是結束了.接下來再戰金閣寺.

 

 

朱大仙:看到沒?這樣的pose,法力無邊啊!

後面的J大師:是嗎??你這種區區封條式pose,我家的pose王隨便就把你比下去了,不信你等個瞧....

 

 

對!就是這張.為了路面該保留幾個百分比才好看,pose王與J大師差點在金閣寺槓起來.

 

此時此刻,朱大先只好傻笑.我輸了,我輸了啊!

 

 

向白蛇許願,求你配我一個許仙啊!

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連環拜!!! 我拜拜拜拜拜拜.................

我說最後這位大姐,拜拜還偷笑?!啥意思?!你看隔壁那位大和妹如此誠心的樣子.人家的基金可能比你多漲兩倍了.

拜完了,接下來幹麼咧........

 

沒錯!就是開始買神符跟求神籤.

 

 

朱小妹說:你這支爛籤就留在這裡讓神明好好加持一下吧!

一旁的朱大仙很顯然地正在字字雕琢,試著頓悟籤詩的道理.

 

待續............................

 

Brussels sprouts have always been the poster child of nasty vegetables. We were at Whole Foods today and they were selling a stalk of brussels sprouts for $4.99

And a closeup:

It was quick work for Ying to take off the sprouts.  Later on in the evening, I noticed the bare stalk sitting on the counter.

I actually don't have anything personal against brussels sprouts myself. But man, the stalk of a brussels sprout is pretty massive. You could use it as a bat and threaten people with it!  Consider yourself warned!

This is a message to all you men out there.  Dishes, pots and pans are difficult to wash. Not only that, scrubbing the pots and using that abrasive dish soap gets your hands rough and dry.  So why make your woman do the dishes?  Do you want a woman with rough, manly hands? I don't.

Also, pots are heavy. We have cast iron Le Creuset pots.  It takes muscles to wash these things (and do a good job).  Cowboy up and do some scrubbing!  In our home; she cooks. Because I can't.  I can make (in no particular order) grits and ramen and cook eggs, but that only gets a man so far. It's only fair that I clean up after her.  Oh, and vacuuming and scrubbing toilets and taking out the trash is also a man's job.  That's dirty work; and if you're a real man, you won't let your woman do those things. Let her focus on the creative stuff like cooking and buying you clothes (because I have no fashion sense).  Hmm, maybe I'm a true male chauvinist, since I've disqualified Ying from doing The Man's Work.  Although in this case, I don't think she minds :)

Even though we were far away from the Santiago Canyon fires, the smoke and ash covered our patio. Here I am, getting ready to use our vacuum on our patio furniture. Hook 'em! Ying turned that handkerchief into a face mask for me so I dont get choke on ash or get sars while I'm out cleaning.

 

 

So what was YING doing while I was cleaning? Playing Wii of course!!! :)

MySims is a game on the Wii.  It's like The Sims, except all you do in MySims is build houses and furnish them for the townpeople.  You don't have to worry about feeding your Sims or taking them to the bathroom like the original game. MySims is really cute. Definitely a girl's game.  It's funny, they even have goth chick/boy characters in the game! You have to build those Sims a goth house or they won't be happy.

Ying actually went online and PRINTED OUT A WALKTHROUGH FOR THE GAME! Uhhh... Since when would she even KNOW what a walkthrough is??!?!?!!  She must be a real woman ^_^

Here's a pic of the walkthrough in its natural habitat. Notice the highlighter and red pen:

GOSH. She's a SERIOUS gamer. The walkthrough is 31 pages.  If I didn't say so, you would have thought that was MY walkthrough and MY gaming setup.  Nintendo's really got it figured out.

Don't believe me? Check out the TIME Played.  YES, that's 56 Hours on one slot. YES, that's 37 Hours on the 2nd slot.


There's a sad story about the town of Dinding.... There's a bug in the game. :(  If you invite a character to live in your town, you have to build them a house SOON.  If they leave the town hotel, you won't be able to move them in, and you won't be able to move anyone else in. Basically, Ying's Dinding town is stuck on 4 Stars because she can't advance anymore.

Oh. Ying would like everyone to know that her town of XiaoBai is now 5 stars and that she's working on getting the uber characters to move in next.  Don't worry if you don't know what that means; I had to read the walkthrough to know what that means too!

Here she is playing. She's got that addicted-to-a-video-game-posture thing going on:

She didn't want me to post this pic, but since she's busy playing right now, she can't stop me!