So we rent movies at Blockbuster. Yes, the actual store. While I might not be in the majority crowd when I say this, I actually like Blockbuster! I like walking around the store, looking at the DVD covers, picking one up, having it in my hand while I walk around looking for something better. We have a subscription to the dvd-in-the-mail thing like Netflix, except it's with Blockbuster and we are also allowed to take in our mail DVDs into the store and exchange it right there for a DVD. I like that, so does Ying, because that means we can have a movie right now if we want it. Comes with the plan.

So a bit of background on how we choose DVDs. I like action flicks; Ying likes chick flicks:

Anyway, this post is about how I was tricked into watching a movie with Substance. This is how I chose the movie "The Solist" as my action flick:

So later that night after Bonnie's asleep, I go and pop in the DVD and start it up. I'm doing other things like picking up toys, checking email etc, and 20 minutes into the movie and I'm thinking to myself, "When's someone gonna get killed or beat up or something?"

I start to get suspicious and think maybe they put the wrong DVD in the box, so I look on the coffee table for the DVD cover and to my surprise, that shotgun barrel... WTF? is actually the neck of a ... WTF? That's a cello. SONOFA...!

So anyway, that's how I ended up watching a movie with Substance. The acting was great, good topic, etc. But damn! I was tricked.

Dear Ying,

Ok, so I can't sing very well. But that didn't keep me from trying :)

So this is what happened... one day while at work, I was listening to a CD I happened to have at my desk. It was a Vivian Hsu CD I bought a long time ago. Then track 8 comes up; it's "I Miss You" and for some reason, I could actually catch 90% of the lyrics! And hearing that song for the first time again, this time, understanding what the song was about, I got all emotional about it. Here I am sitting in my cubicle hoping no one happens to stroll by to talk to me. Maybe it's because I had (my self-diagnosed) teflon flu that day or something. I dunno. But that really made me think of you and miss you. So here we are, a week and half later, I have something to show you. Hope you like it, even though my singing is ... pretty lame :)

Love you!!! -Your NT1

Last Sunday, I ran into an old friend. Hadn't seen her in a few years.

She said I got old! So when I got home that day I looked in the mirror and realized I hadn't shaven all weekend. Yeah, that must have been it.... Wait, what are these lines under my eyes? Dirt? No, maybe it's the light ... Waitnoooo those are wrinkles! Sonofa...! So tonight I asked Ying to apply some of her fancy face product to my wrinkles. The geek in me reads this product's name as "Lamer" ... What the? Who? Me?

Sigh... :)

 

 

Man I'm so proud of Ying.... she knows what a walkthrough is and has searched and used them on three occasions: My Sims, My Sims Kingdom and recently, Animal Crossing City Folk. Today, we bought Animal Crossing for real (we mostly rent games). And while in the car on the way home, she was reading the back of the cover like a kid. So awesome! She's fishing right now. (in the game). Nice.

 

警告:此文內容頗不衛生,有潔癖之人請自行退散,無顧此警告者,後果一概自負.

看了看時間,該餵粉圓了,突然間,一股屎意湧上,告訴老爺,不行,我得小出恭一下.老爺回,那你動作快點,我先幫她換尿布.ok.

五分鐘後,一切"通暢",我不忘洗手,備妥雙奶,準備當乳牛.

老爺從房裡抱著小姐走出來交給我,說,我也想大便.我笑著,又不是打哈欠,便意還會傳染喔?此時,粉圓小姐已經大口大口吸了起來.

老爺一腳踏進浴室,粉圓同一時間放了個響屁,老爺探頭問,誰?我說,你女兒.半秒後,我大叫,聞到了,粉圓的屁好臭啊!!!!老爺又從浴室探頭,緩緩說道,你剛剛留下來的餘味還在,聞起來也不差啊....

去!!!!!有屎快拉,別廢話!

老爺那廂門才一關,粉圓這廂緊跟著一陣嘩啦嘩啦聲,隔著剛換好的尿布,那股"暖意"直衝我大腿.

五分鐘後,老爺從浴室出來.我喊他,ㄟ,你女兒大便了,你要不要先幫她換?

老爺一臉驚訝的看我,接著,我們一陣大笑!十五分鐘內,一家大小連續拉屎....

咱家,還真是屎屁無間啊!!!!!

 

我爸吃梨子

 

 

我來戴帽子

 

 

粉圓說:要搞笑你們自己玩,請不要給我裝肖維.

 

 

 

粉圓:其實我不是在笑,只是在運動我的顏面神經.(阿母啊!你的樣子看起來好像棄婦....).這張照片讓我覺得粉圓的諧星之路有望了!

沒生小孩前,我曾經大肆批評一篇八卦雜誌上小甜甜布蘭妮他兒子的樣子,小寶寶不是長的難看,而是整個臉看起來很髒,頭髮很油膩,好像是疏於照顧的小孩一樣,結果.........報應來了.

新生兒的新陳代謝很強,粉圓的臉一天到晚花花的不說,還連帶很多的廢去角質皮質之類的東西,加上鼻屎眼屎一起來,明明就已經幫她擦過臉,睡一覺起來,怎麼臉上白白的小屑屑又一堆,偏偏小妮子的皮膚只有用過兩個禮拜,還非常非常嬌嫩到不能讓他娘猛搓(差點就失心瘋想乾脆給她用磨砂膏算了),只好放任她當一個沒洗臉的髒小孩.

老娘的月子坐的還可以(其實已經有點不耐煩了),因為很多精力都花在粉圓身上,兩個禮拜下來竟然造就出一倒床馬上入睡的功夫,連半夜老爺打呼也叫不醒我.讓我有點覺得"百歲醫師教我的育兒寶典"一書沒怎麼訓練到粉圓,反而訓練到我了!哈哈哈哈哈......

 

粉圓小姐今天剛好滿一周,實在很難想像眼前這個活生生的小鬼是當初在我肚子裡猛戳我肋骨那隻.

分享兩張全家福

 

 

 

老娘與小娘

先祝大家新年快樂,再謝謝大家熱情的祝福,托你們的福氣,粉圓很平安健康的生出來了.

為了這顆粉圓,老娘生了整整36個小時.

生產的過程有幾件妙事想跟大家分享,長話短說.

1.進醫院催生之前醫生就交代只能吃輕食,最好保持空腹.一入院後,一再被護士告知不能進食,連水都不能喝.到生產之前只能含冰塊或者吃冰棒(有橘子,櫻桃,葡萄口味可選)

2.生小孩我一點都不"挫",可是打無痛的經驗讓我"挫"到最高點.我本來就很不喜歡打針,加上打無痛是在背部,看不到,一點心理準備都沒有.麻醉醫生在消毒背部時,我又大叫一句"等等!!可不可以請你要下針的時候跟我告知一聲",在場所有人的表情就跟當時作血糖檢查幫我抽血的檢驗人員一樣(請參考"是我太甜了嗎"一文)-->想笑又得忍.其實打無痛並不痛,害怕的是精神上的折磨啊!!!

3.如果問我生小孩的感覺是怎樣,打無痛之前的陣痛就像生理痛X1000倍,打完無痛生小孩還是會痛,那種痛就像便秘痾大便的撕裂痛X1000倍.

4.沒生粉圓前,我跟老爺曾經討論過看到粉圓的那一剎那我們想對她說什麼,當初的討論當然都是以搞笑的成分居多,等到真正的那一刻,我的眼淚竟然無法抑制的流不停,啥屁都吭不出來,或許真的就是喜極而泣的感覺吧!除此之外,還有一個很特別的經驗,護士在把粉圓擦乾淨處理後便馬上抱來我身邊,並要求我退去上衣跟baby肌膚對肌膚接觸20分鐘,目的是要讓寶寶記住媽媽的味道.接手粉圓的那個時刻,我看了一眼老爺,沒想到,他也哭了.......

想跟諸位分享的事情還有很多,但是粉圓已經把我大部分的時間都"套牢"了,接下來跟大家分享幾張照片.

大約開三指的時候不但笑的出來,還能吃冰棒哩!

 

病房(兼產房)窗外的風景,我只是懷疑,陣痛的時候,到底還有誰顧得了這麼美麗的海景啊!

 

剛出生就懂得用斜眼"切"人的粉圓

 

 

馬戲團三人組來報到(出生一天的粉圓)

 

整張臉只有耳朵像我的劉粉圓小姐

 

別吵我,我在做人工太陽浴.(粉圓黃疸在臨界點,被強留下來照紫外線,過程奇慘無比,我累到想把她塞回去,詳情容稍後再述.)

 

諧星與諧星的女兒

 

裝模作樣學白雪公主(粉圓出生四天)

 

粉圓說,我媽好懶,都不會幫我洗臉.

 

還沒吃過奶嘴,就已經"病入膏肓"的翹嘴巴.......

 

嘿嘿...想照我?!錢先拿來!

 

近照(出生第六天)

 

好了,小娘累了,你們可以先退下了...

 

像誰呢?一目了然.

Bonnie is fine. She is healthy and sooooo cute!! Pics later. I'm still posting via phone.