問我最近都在幹麻咧?!

其實,沒有在幹麻.

以下就是大娘與老爺平常上班日的作息:

6:30am  老爺起床梳洗準備上班

(準備過程-->洗澡,洗臉,燙襯衫,裝飯盒,吃早餐....)

7:20am老爺出門前,過來告知還躺在床上的老娘要去上班了.

8:30am老娘起床,只有洗臉,其他省略

8:45am老娘出門上班

9:00-10:00am 吃早餐,整理檢驗報告,跟同事打屁

10:00am第一個"客人"上門

10:10am"老闆"匆匆來上班

1:00pm 午飯時間 (可長可短)

3:00pm下午第一個"客人"報到

5:00pm-6:00pm下班回家

6:00pm-7:00pm 煮飯打屁時間

7:00pm-8:00pm 看"姚木蘭"演戲 (詳情請參考前幾集老爺的笑話)

8:00pm-8:30pm 跟老爺打屁聊天抬槓

8:30pm-10:00pm 老爺寫程式,老娘上網或者轉電視

10:00pm-11:00pm一個小時持續碎碎唸明天要上班,該去睡了(一直唸,可是都沒有動作要睡覺)

11:00pm-11:30pm老爺催促老娘去洗澡刷牙

11:30pm-12:00am下盤棋或打個橋牌.

12:00am-12:30am互相報告今天上班發生什麼事情到睡著為止

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禮拜一到禮拜五的日子就是這樣過的

好像沒什麼營養咧....可是日子過的很快就是了

呵呵呵

You know in the movies where the clumsy (but really hot) actress is walking through the house and runs right into the sliding glass door?  And you think, "haaam gah!" (that's Taiwanese; it means ridiculous). That kind of stuff only happens in the movies!!!  Well.... I guess we must be making movies!

I was standing in the kitchen getting some water when I heard a LOUD crash....

Yes, that's right; Ying walked straight through the screen door at full speed.  She said she didn't even slow down and was confused for a moment when she hit the screen.  Don't worry, she's ok.  I took this picture after I made sure she was ok :) ... And this picture turned out really cool!  The camera's flash was off so the exposure was really long and Ying was still walking around looking at the destruction she caused.

Here's a closer picture:

You better not mess with my wife; see what she did to this door? She'll do it to YOU. My wife is the Incredible She-Hulk ... She walks through doors as if they didn't exist.

I brought the screen door back into our kitchen to survey the damage:

The damage wasn't too bad. I was able to bend it back and stuff the mesh back into the frame:

After I put the screen door back on the tracks, it just wasn't the same any more... the door doesn't close all the way, it's bent in a few places, the lock doesn't work any more and it doesn't slide very smooth.  (Before our little accident, closing the screen door was like sliding it on a stick of butter) Yes folks, we've lived here less than a month and we've begun wrecking the place. Thank you very much. 

By the way, Ying says "hi" and to be sure to write that she's baking me some banana bread right now.  I'm thinking... she's pretty good at breaking down doors. Baking something with FIRE??? She'll be FINE!!!!!! :)

And I used to wonder why screen doors never close properly...

[Update 10/29/2006]
I installed a safety device guaranteed to protect our screen door from damage... err I mean... guaranteed to protect Ying's safety!!!

沒有錯,就是老娘本人鬧出的大笑話.

哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!

現在以當事人的角度為大家剖析這次的撞紗窗事件.

今天咱家出現了電影裡面活生生的迎面撞上透明玻璃事件,

誇張的是,我撞的不是玻璃,是紗門 (哇咧...玻璃是透明的就算了,怎麼可能撞上看的見的的紗門呢? 疑點一:我真的要去檢查眼睛的度數了.  疑點二:這是新家,紗門也是新的,太乾淨到透明的程度,所以看不到????????)

新家的陽台設計有點半開放式,所以我們決定把它變成另一個小天地,白天放下外面的掛簾,感覺像是多出來的一個房間.昨天晚上興沖沖的買了塊小地毯舖上,感覺又更溫暖了一些.下班回家後,我們習慣把客廳通陽台的門打開通通風(客廳與臥室各有一門通陽台,臥室的是落地窗).

一看,哇! 不得了,因為傍晚刮點風,地毯有些小灰塵,我走到浴室,拿了吸灰塵的"秘密武器"就大步大步從臥室方向走向陽台,我這人做事情本來就有些急躁,也有些粗魯(這是老爺說的,嘿嘿),因為天色已暗,之前在陽台時以為臥室的落地紗窗也是打開的.

慘案就這樣發生了.........

我三步跨兩步的從臥房走向陽台...... (這是我腦袋想的)

我直接衝向落地紗窗..........(這是實際發生的狀況)

因為紗窗的材質軟軟的,一衝上去的那一剎那....我根本沒有察覺,只是覺得怪怪的,怎麼有無形的東西在擋我.(萬聖鬼節還沒有到啊?! 不會吧.....)

過了一秒鐘,整塊紗門就"砰"一聲往前掉下來了.

那一刻我才驚覺..........."阿咧...不會吧?!紗門是關著的????????然後,然後,然後..被我撞開了??????"

我一驚,怕壓破紗門(mesh),又覺得好笑,一個不平衡,整個人往後跌坐在地上.

老爺聞聲趕來,我們兩個已經坐在地上笑到快岔氣.

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翻譯一下老爺的話,那個"haaam  gah!" 就是我們每次看電視電影時看到很荒謬的情節會講的台語"漢m(這個音要拖長)  尬", 不可思議,亂演,荒謬的意思啦!也是我婆婆看電影的口頭禪.

接下來還有一個小P.S.......

就在老爺寫完部落格時,在線上看到了佛州的"陳媽媽-M"(不要懷疑,就是你啦!N & V的娘),他迫不及待就趕緊叫她欣賞一下我最新鬧的笑話,這位一邊讀書又一邊帶小孩的偉大媽媽看完後問了我家老爺一句:

"why she wants to walk straight to the door?"

ㄟ.....老王同學....人家都摔倒了,你還以為我故意要表演喔......嗚...嗚....嗚.....

老爺一邊笑著說,我太太就是這麼"漢M",所以交的朋友也有點"漢M"嗎? (陳太太,別生氣啊!這不是我講的,是老爺是老爺.....)

"Haaammm  Gah!"

以上

Tonight I was taking out the trash... most of you know that we just recently moved to a new apartment. :)

Well -- haha, tonight I went to take out the trash to the trash room and found something very funny!  Ying is always making fun of me how I have weird stuff that is pointless and doesn't even look good. 

I came home and remaining calm said, "Dearest baby, there is something I want to show you.  Please put on your slippers and let's go see it."

She looked suspicious but put on her shoes and followed me out.  The trash room is only a few steps diagonally across our hallway (don't worry; it's not THAT close -- we don't smell it, they're trash chutes anyway).  This is what I wanted to show her:

Here's another artistic-angle shot:

Ying laughed so hard that she started choking because she was trying to be quiet (it was midnight).

Here's the best part -- she said, "LET'S TAKE IT HOME!" .... so we did:

Don't worry, we'll probably drag it back out to the trash room tomorrow.  In case you're curious, the "treasure" had a label on it [Tony Almén/Peter Gest].  Ying did a google search and found this: http://www.almengest.com/ram.html  I think they make stuff for Ikea... yeah it definitely looks like Ikea stuff too.

-Dean :)

夜晚的新家很安靜.

沒有自動灑水器的噪音,沒有小孩追逐的尖叫聲,沒有夫妻的吵罵聲,也沒有怪鄰居跟貓咪玩鬧的狂笑聲.

剛開始有點不習慣,幾個禮拜下來,反倒很享受這樣的寂靜.

老爺累了,先上床找周公去.留我一個人在外面的小書房,剎那間,我彷彿再回到以前半夜趕報告的日子,感受著一絲絲秋天的涼意,那種屬於單身才有的寂靜以及夜深人靜時特別對台灣的思念.

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在這裡,先要謝謝大家前一陣子給我的鼓勵.

我的工作一切已經上軌道,以前那一口有中文腔但還算溜的英文已經慢慢回來了,再次證明豬(朱)牽到加州還是豬.我還是那頭有壓力才有動力的豬.這種類似"客戶服務"性質的工作,還真讓我見識不少人,可能之前因為剛開始沒有什麼自信的關係,遇到委屈也就是往肚裡吞,最多忍不住就像上次來這裡吐吐苦水,直到我老闆說我不夠兇,要兇一點沒有關係,如果病人太過分,太abuse我們,(對不起,不是要賣弄英文,是不知道該找什麼適當的中文來形容這個abuse),我們就寫通知信給他,叫他30天內自己去找家庭醫師,我們不爽看啦!

(你們相信嗎? 世界上竟然還有人說我不夠兇.................)

有了老闆一句話,我也更放心的做自己,現在工作很快就能完成,我不會先對病人不禮貌,但是病人如果態度太差,我也會適當的"還擊",前兩天我同事開玩笑說實在很難想像我生氣的樣子(真是見鬼了,你們說是嗎?),我說,敗就敗在英文不是我的母語,如果是在中文環境的話,講話這麼沒有教養不禮貌的人,早就被我的"降豬十八掌"打到牆壁邊邊去了,再擺個"朱式臭臉"熏死他十天半個月洗都洗不掉.(我想這兩招應該是東海山社的苦難同胞領教最多,拍謝啦!年紀小不懂事..)

我聽了猴媽的教誨,學會在回家的路上消化一天工作的情緒,慢慢的,老爺也發現我回家幾乎都不提工作的事情,也不罵那些討厭的病人了,只是偶爾把誇張的笑話拿出來笑一笑.

到底是什麼改變了我呢?

我想很多吧...來美國幾年的經歷的確把我當初那種年少輕狂的壞脾氣磨掉一些.還有遠在台灣的你們給我的影響.這幾年週遭朋友的改變很多,有人當爸爸媽媽,有人結婚,有人離婚,有人談戀愛,有人失戀,不管你們自身正遭遇什麼好壞變化,看到我難過了,沮喪了,還是趕快跳出來安慰我,鼓勵我.我覺得我還真是個有福氣的人咧!

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再來要給老爺貼個金.自從上次在這裡跟你們吐完苦水沒多久,老爺也開始了他的新工作,我突發奇想的暗中觀察他,發現他新的工作壓力雖然大,可是他卻很少愁眉苦臉的跟我抱怨,跟他同等職位的是一個有點難搞的資深女電腦工程師,這位大娘工作非常認真嚴謹,不苟言笑,一開始上班,就有其他同事偷偷警告老爺說與這位女工程師做事must be her way or no way.也因為老爺年紀輕,但職稱卻與她相同,第一個禮拜這位很tough的媽媽每天都給老爺擺臭臉,我有點擔心的問老爺這樣下去怎麼辦(你看看,你看看,我真是有夠"搞操煩"的,以後有千斤重的事情把我壓死你們也不用同情我,應該是我自找的),老爺說沒有關係,他最害怕的其實是工作愛打混的人,這個女同事工作很認真,只是嚴肅了點,他一點都不擔心,而且他很高興她寫程式很厲害,這樣兩個人互相切磋學更多.

過了一個禮拜,有天老爺很高興的對我說,今天跟這位女同事一起合作寫某個程式,有很大的突破,解決一個大難題,那位"大娘"可開心了.他也很開心.所以他晚上要賞自己一罐"X山仙草蜜"!

話會扯這遠,是有原因的.

話說....剛開始工作時有天下班我很不開心,整個人的情緒都還是被那些病人的惡言惡語牽著走,回家後當然就抬著一肚子的垃圾對老爺倒倒倒.倒完後,老爺笑嘻嘻的對我說,不要這麼氣啦!來給你一罐仙草蜜喝,甜甜的喝下去氣就不見了.

你們知道我回什麼話嗎?

我說:"才不要喝!喝了有什麼用? 明天去上班,病人還不是一樣惡劣!!!"

....................

相形之下,你們說我該不該慚愧啊?

很多時候,判斷事情的好壞,端看你的心態,希望慢慢的經過老爺的"教化",我這種"心腦過勞",鑽牛角尖的老毛病能慢慢的痊癒.當然,我也"偷偷"的希望經過老娘我慢慢的"教化",老爺拖拖拉拉,分不清輕重緩急的壞毛病也會稍有改善.

我想,這就是我的婚姻一年來給我的正面效益吧!  呵呵呵呵