#1. Be careful! Don't be stupid and hurt yourself.
#2. Don't be a chicken!
#3. You have to use enough force to get through the skin and strike the shell.
#4. You have to hold the coconut in your hand (See #2). If you put the coconut on the counter or somewhere else, it will most likely roll away, the cleaver will slip from your hands and fall on your foot and cause some sort of medical emergency. (See #1).
#5. You don't have to draw it, but map out a square with lines halfway between the pointy part of the coconut to the outer circle.
#6. Chop away! Make ONE, clean, solid, chop for each side of your square. You have to hold the coconut in your hand or you won't get good strikes. If you have two left hands, then you should just give up right now. Don't blame me! Use enough force to get through the skin and strike the shell. If you don't, a couple of things will happen: 1. you won't be able to peel off the skin and 2. the shell won't crack open.
Tip: Don't be afraid! You're not the hulk; It's not like you're going to cut straight through the coconut and lop off your hand! And uhh... just be sure to aim right. Good luck!
#7. With good, solid chops you'll have cut out a square from the top of the coconut.
#8. Drop in a bendy straw and a teaspoon and you're done! Sip out the milk and use the spoon to dig out the tender meat.
Here's a video:
Credits: Thanks Ying for filming the video! And thanks for not laughing TOO hard and shaking the camera :P
Also, see part 2 where the camerawoman poses with the coconut.